A study or paper · 2020 · Research
Envy, relief, and the two feelings at once
Envy of the object of the attachment and simultaneous relief that it is not actually being withheld from you - the emotional ambivalence that is present in almost every long-term fan relationship and rarely discussed.
It is the most quoted paragraph in the fandom literature and it came out of consumer research rather than psychology, which tells you something. The two feelings are not a contradiction to be resolved. They are the ordinary texture of wanting a thing that cannot be had, and most people have never been asked to describe it because nobody thought it was strange.
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